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Why Adrianne Palicki Shouldn't Play Wonder Woman

NBC nabbed its perfect woman when it inked former Friday Night Lights beautyAdrianne Palicki to headline its upcoming Wonder Woman relaunch. Palicki is easy on the eyes once they're not shooting out of their sockets like those of a concupiscent cartoon wolf. She possesses the athletic build required of the Amazon princess, and if her volleyball days from FNL are any indication, she can handle physical challenges. She's a great actress (though I never saw Legion) who is ready to carry a show on her back.
But as a Palicki fan who wants to see only good things come to her, she's making the wrong choice. Yes, she'll nail the role. Yes, it seems like a step in the right direction for her career. Yes, it's frickin' Wonder Woman, a possible role of a lifetime. So what's the problem?
The show sounds horrible. Details of the Wonder Woman pilot, written by the very capable Boston Legal and Ally McBeal creator David E. Kelley, have leaked online—and we wish they hadn't. In the series, Wonder Woman's alter ego Diana Themyscira (the surname is a shout-out to WW's homeland) is a successful corporate executive who runs her own company. According to The Futon Critic, that's not a secret identity, as Diana is publicly known as Wonder Woman. Heck, Diana's company even sells Wonder Woman-branded merchandise. Barf.
Not content with just two lives to live, Diana creates a third identity, Diana Prince, to... well, I'm not sure what. Bullet-proof bracelets and the Golden Lasso of Truth are still in there, but the invisible jet has been jettisoned for "sedan-sized aircrafts made by BMW." And there are plenty of Katy Perry jokes about how the singer stole Diana's look. Can you hear my eyes rolling from here? Futon Critic summed up the pilot thusly: "The good: Wonder Woman gets to kick a lot of ass. The bad: Diana seems to sing along every time music is played. The ugly: Diana uses the phrase 'we got bidness' at one point, and flip-flops between being well-versed in our culture (Halliburton, Brett Favre) and having references go over her head (the aforementioned Katy Perry)."
Even with all that shtick, Entertainment Weekly says the script is "a serious, non-campy take" on Wonder Woman. What? That's supposed to be serious? If you'll recall, every single major network the show was pitched to passed on it. Every. Single. One. Even NBC. But needing to gobble up any high-profile project it could, the network apparently changed its mind. This whole thing smacks of NBC's attempt to remake The Bionic Woman, which predictably crashed and burned spectacularly a few years ago.
Adrianne, you're a great actress with so much potential. If the show is as bad as it sounds, this role will only set you back a year before it's canceled.
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